Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Fan Mail from Oakland's King Solomon

February 6, 2008. Today I received an emailed "fan letter" from someone in Oakland using the name Solomon Kaiser and the email address kingshelomo@hotmail.com. King Shelomo is another name for the biblical King Solomon, reputed to have had numerous wives, infinite wisdom, and a magical ring that allowed him to converse with animals and demons. Oakland's King Shelomo has shown that he can speak to us demons, at least electronically, so that's one criterion down.

Mr. Tenaza,

The Oakland Zoo and its hard-working staff have outshined the San Francisco Zoo and its depressing animal exhibits for decades. As a resident of Oakland, an a proud one at that, I applaud Oakland Zoo officials for "dismissing" you from the premises. I believe you went "witch-hunting" to try to find some problem with our Zoo to promote, so that San Francisco wouldn't carry the brunt of scorn and ridicule for their mismanaged Zoo alone in the headlines. Like a slinky coward, you're trying to dump more negativity on Oakland through your little 4th grade investigation and got caught. Good!Why don't you look into the Stockton Zoo (if they have one) or investigate if there's more inadequate animal exhibits at the SF Zoo (Didn't the polar bear want out too?). They're the one's with the problems not Oakland. It is amazing the lengths people go through to try to "exploit" the faults of Oakland and to make Frisco look pristine and innocent. It's sickening. Keep your tiger watch down in your hick town and stay out of the big city because you're obviously out of your element.

Solomon Kaiser
Oakland, CA